Talking them round to accept support

Ways and means

As our parents become elderly, they can sometimes become more stubborn! They’ve had a whole lifetime of being able to look after themselves, as well as bringing up children, holding down a job and running a house. When it comes to accepting help, it can be difficult, and people don’t often realise that they need help (or can’t admit it).

It can be tough and upsetting to see them struggling and then even harder when they are being so stubborn about accepting help! With a calm, patient and positive approach, there is a way to handle this.

If their stubbornness is around accepting ‘care’ then change this to having a home help, or a companion or a cleaner. If the person chosen for this is a true carer, then they will do all aspects of home help, and this is usually the best introduction to care. Suggest they start with just one visit a week, so they can get to know the new ‘carer’ and build a bond. Help them realise that these visits are a treat, to give them a break, give them a pamper, and a bit of company.

If you have become the main carer for your parents, then ensure you look after yourself. Gain support from local community networks. Get regular breaks and respite away from them by introducing another carer or company to help. They will not like this to start with, but they’d like it even less if you were too ‘burnt out’ to support them at all anymore.