Talking them round to accept support

Ways and means

As our parents become elderly they can sometimes become more stubborn! They’ve had a whole
lifetime of being able to look after themselves, as well as bringing up children, holding down a job
and running a house. When it comes to accepting help it can be difficult and people don’t often
realise that they need help (or can’t admit it).

It can be tough and upsetting to see them struggling and then even harder when they are being so
stubborn about accepting help! With a calm, patient and positive approach there is a way to handle
this.

If their stubbornness is around accepting ‘care’ then change this to having a home help, or a
companion or a cleaner. If the person chosen for this is a true carer, then they will do all aspects of
home help and this is usually the best introduction to care. Suggest they start with just one visit a
week, so they can get to know the new ‘carer’ and build a bond. Help them realise that these visits
are a treat, to give them a break, give them a pamper, and a bit of company.

If you have become the main carer for your parents then ensure you look after yourself. Gain
support from local community networks. Get regular breaks and respite away from them by
introducing another carer or company to help. They will not like this to start with but they’d like it
even less if you were too ‘burnt out’ to support them at all anymore.